The problem with having empathy

I don't know if this is village hick empathy or Slavic empathy or autistic empathy, but there's such a thing where you can tell what people are actually like in their heart.

The problem is that people usually don't choose to act on that. It's inconvenient, uneducated and so on. Over time they lose contact with this core self and they finally become "well adjusted" and "mentally healthy": no feelings, no joy, but OTOH all business as usual, no surprises. All regularized and safe.

It's like when people take a break from a relationship to figure stuff out. There's no such thing. They will never come back. They'll think about it and find that life is better without love, because it is. Frankly I don't know why people think they want love.

When you don't care about anyone, nobody can disappoint you, you're not risking anything. Besides, what's a feeling. We're not savages, no? Sex is worth jack when there are no emotions but even so it'll do for the basic peace of mind, so.

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To the love of your life, when you meet her

I don't speak to my family except for legal matters or when someone dies. It's been like this for some fifteen years now, which is about the half of my life. My uncle died, as it turns out. Hadn't thought of him for years. Suddenly I was faced with the gaping difference of my opinion of him as a child versus now, judging from the same facts. Yes! He's dead and I'm going to speak bad about him. Shocking, I know. Earlier this year I met a woman who reminded me of my cousin. I never meet women who remind me of her! A butch but soft-hearted lesbian with a buzz cut. When we were kids everyone thought she was a boy. This woman was just like that, even the stories she shared about her family were quite familiar. It's been years since my cousin got her heart broken. The love of her life, possibly. They were so good together, I enjoyed hanging out with them together more than with each separately. The girlfriend broke off the engagement because my cousin's family...

I just ventured to a neurotypical online space to ask a question, and

And I realized I talk to neurotypical people like to animals, lmao. I don't even mean it offensively which is probably a whole another and much deeper level of offensive. I just matter-of-factly act a bit like coming to a zoo.

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