just a blog

  That was probably the most validating book I ever read. Would definitely recommend this to every autistic or ADHD person regardless of gender. This validated my worst fears but you gotta face them including the empirically very evident fact that therapy does not help.  As the book puts it, when someone abusive goes to therapy they will leave as a "very happy and well adjusted abuser " because therapy focuses on validating people's feelings and giving them unconditional acceptance.  But the only thing that works on abusive people is giving them consequences: Dump them. Report their threats. Report their violence. Report their stalking and coercive behavior. This is why abusive people usually put most effort into those who are marginalized, isolated or illegal immigrants: The chance that they will be reported is low. If you put an abuser into therapy, he or she will get an insane amount of psychological tools they will use against their victims to gaslight them, and to p...

  And I realized I talk to neurotypical people like to animals, lmao. I don't even mean it offensively which is probably a whole another and much deeper level of offensive. I just matter-of-factly act a bit like coming to a zoo. 

  A lot in this book is familiar.  One of the authors is a soldier, the other a sociologist, so that's a fair combination of hands on and theory. They will usually take a real example from the US army - either training or combat - and show how the character and leadership of the people in charge contributed to either the failure or the success of the project.  Army is strictly hierarchical, so it's mostly giving that bad character of the commander eventually leads to character breakdown of the whole unit. People will at best stop communicating, usually start low-key abusing each other in a way that still can pass off as a joke and at worst commit violent crimes and so on.  I like the conclusion they make, which is (obviously?) to fucking stay away from people with a characterless sort of behavior. If you work with them, you've got to find something reportable on them to get rid of them. If they are your friends, you need new friends. If they are your entire neighborh...