just a blog

  The clinic I went to last time was telling women that botox is healthy. It will leave their skin healthier because it relaxes the muscles and much like when we use antidepressants, our skin needs a little  medical help to feel relaxed. Obviously this is straight up bullsh!t.  Here's the benefit though. If you have sensory sensitivities, like from Au/DHD, or heavy trauma, you will get that flared up some times. You also might get triggered some days.  With botox, you can still go to work or to gym without getting the inevitable public harassment for having 'mistreated vibe'. The toxin forces your facial muscles to relax, so the pain won't show on your face.  Therapy is infinite and your self-confidence a sin wave not because that's how your brain works , but because as soon as you are unaccompanied while looking like you are tired and in pain, opportunistic abusers will go for it. With neurological illness like autism you get that perpetually every few weeks, f...

  Being well-adjusted to our current society means relying on fully on words and formulations. Our society has graduated from the previous savage tribalism to running mostly on heuristics, and well-adjusted people do not develop attachment or a sense of value for you if you don't consistently participate in shallow conversational conventions.  These conventions generally have no deeper meaning, but if you don't use them, you are the only person who isn't virtue signaling in an ocean of people who are virtue signaling, constantly and diligently. If you are a decent and capable person, this is the equivalent of having a good product but zero budget for marketing in a world where thousands of other businesses with possibly worse products have six figure budgets to spend on bombarding people with their brand name. People have limited attention spans, nobody actually cares, your product fails. A friend sent me this article: Pesce, N. L. (2019, April 2). Most college grads with...

 My friends tell me it's been nice to watch me change lately. I had money and did business for years but this time around, I actually started using said money. And got a bit of an attitude. And that has a reason. A while back I was one of the mods at a therapy subreddit, one of the more open ones where people usually came to complain about bad therapists. I have Aspergers, for better or worse, so I've got my fair share of shit therapy.  Every therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist or counselor ever chose the same hill to die on: I look and speak like a ditz, because of Aspergers, and I am an attractive woman, so they'd instantly order me to stop with my business bullshit (which is probably a lie anyway because look at me), find a man, get married and be happy ever after, and nothing would make them reconsider.  I will never get married. I will never even date and I will never have close intimate friends because I am immigrant, I can't randomly be a cunt spicy dynamic mo...