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The longer I deal with my current legal b*llshit, the stupider I feel for ever pursuing romantic relationships

My current legal bullshit has nothing to do with romance. It's about large remittances, tax exempt income and expired contracts incurring fines. 

It's just that it's glaringly obvious to me that even this activity, as stressful as it is, is more enjoyable than romance. 

No matter how bad things get in business, you always have control. In business, people can't just decide and randomly harm you. You can't be randomly put in jail. Even during my communist Czechoslovak childhood dealings with the secret police, they could at best threaten to lock you up in a mental hospital. But you had to actually psychologically break down for them to be able to do it. If you didn't, they were forced to stick to increasingly empty threats.

There are always things to do. Chances are that when the situation looks hopeless you are probably just poorly informed or inarticulate, but then you can hire someone to do that for you. 

Romance sucks. No matter what you do or don't do, people will come around when you're happy, dump their traumas on you, then cheat on you and blame you for that because you were not being happy and obviously everybody hates to be around people who aren't happy. And then to top it all off you have to speak to a shrink who is typically dead set on making you believe this relationship scam all over again.

Why the hell does our culture insist that we must look for fulfillment in romantic relationships? In being nice and vulnerable to someone, hoping they won't abuse that? How's that even fulfilling? It sounds more like naked shorting if you ask me.

I think my life feels so fulfilling because I know a lot of assholes. I'm serious. 

Intelligent people who can have an actual conversation tend to be assholes. That's because when you're intelligent, you notice things. Some part of intelligence is said to be genetic, so unfortunately you are with it before you become independent. 

And when you are a child who notices things, you better become an asshole otherwise the adults in your life, who typically pretend to be authority figures on very little to back that up, will abuse the living hell out of you. 

Intelligent people who are genuinely nice are, by the time they reach adulthood, too traumatized from all the gaslighting to have an opinion about anything. Or worse yet, they will treat you like assholes, on top of being mind-numbingly boring, all the while not having the emotional capacity to admit to themselves that they are in fact as cruel as their original childhood abusers. 

Personally, I prefer genuine assholes, and a military-grade system of boundaries.

*heavy exhale* This felt good.

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