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Autism in action

 


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To the love of your life, when you meet her

I don't speak to my family except for legal matters or when someone dies. It's been like this for some fifteen years now, which is about the half of my life.  My uncle died, as it turns out. Hadn't thought of him for years. Suddenly I was faced with the gaping difference of my opinion of him as a child versus now, judging from the same facts.  Yes! He's dead and I'm going to speak bad about him. Shocking, I know. Earlier this year I met a woman who reminded me of my cousin. I never meet women who remind me of her! A butch but soft-hearted lesbian with a buzz cut. When we were kids everyone thought she was a boy.  This woman was just like that, even the stories she shared about her family were quite familiar.  It's been years since my cousin got her heart broken. The love of her life, possibly. They were so good together, I enjoyed hanging out with them together more than with each separately. The girlfriend broke off the engagement because my cousin's family...
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Some light bedtime reading: "Why does he do that? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men"

  That was probably the most validating book I ever read. Would definitely recommend this to every autistic or ADHD person regardless of gender. This validated my worst fears but you gotta face them including the empirically very evident fact that therapy does not help.  As the book puts it, when someone abusive goes to therapy they will leave as a "very happy and well adjusted abuser " because therapy focuses on validating people's feelings and giving them unconditional acceptance.  But the only thing that works on abusive people is giving them consequences: Dump them. Report their threats. Report their violence. Report their stalking and coercive behavior. This is why abusive people usually put most effort into those who are marginalized, isolated or illegal immigrants: The chance that they will be reported is low. If you put an abuser into therapy, he or she will get an insane amount of psychological tools they will use against their victims to gaslight them, and to p...
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How to stop being harassed by racists [guide]

I bought a large black leather shoulder bag, solid construction, well known brand, obscenely chunky (and heavy) handle made of a thick metal chain bathed in 24k gold. When I'm wearing it, street harassment is gone.  I went with a regular old brown leather tote today, to test my hypothesis. Slurs are back.  When I'm wearing something posh, people see money, and they don't even look further as they assume that abusing me might actually come with a punishment.  When I'm wearing something understated, even if it's in fact more expensive, people look at me .  When they look at me they see autism in my face, except they never read it as autism.  They think, This woman is sad. (sensory issues) Probably abused by her boyfriend. (not making eye contact) Probably a foreigner (general "different" behavior, happens also where I was born), but not rich ( dressed casual) - she's light skinned though so she can't claim racism. She's not gonna do anything ...
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