just a blog

I wanted to say something like, I have yet to find a problem that wouldn't be solved with money. But that's not the entire truth.  Money works even on heartbreak. You take up a new venture, or invest in something. Suddenly you have to learn a lot of new things, in a few months' time your life becomes unrecognizable from what it looked like when you loved that person. You will find you still have some love for them but you no longer want to act on it. You outgrew that.  That's roughly the wheels on which my life runs. I am relatively happy because I live a life in which I am not a stranger, it is something my heart is in - even if it was also in other things that I would have much preferred.  But had I never had to do all this, I would have been relatively happy as well - because if an affair broke my heart, it means my heart must have had been it it, which is the base for happiness.  Kundera I think wrote somewhere that comparing diverging life paths like this never ...

  The clinic I went to last time was telling women that botox is healthy. It will leave their skin healthier because it relaxes the muscles and much like when we use antidepressants, our skin needs a little  medical help to feel relaxed. Obviously this is straight up bullsh!t.  Here's the benefit though. If you have sensory sensitivities, like from Au/DHD, or heavy trauma, you will get that flared up some times. You also might get triggered some days.  With botox, you can still go to work or to gym without getting the inevitable public harassment for having 'mistreated vibe'. The toxin forces your facial muscles to relax, so the pain won't show on your face.  Therapy is infinite and your self-confidence a sin wave not because that's how your brain works , but because as soon as you are unaccompanied while looking like you are tired and in pain, opportunistic abusers will go for it. With neurological illness like autism you get that perpetually every few weeks, f...